Amazing how you can be smack dead in the middle of a situation and can truly see how messed up it is. You can see what's messed up about it, how it's messed up and see all the things that are seriously wrong; but out of all of that, you can't see how to fix it. I always find that un-clairvoyantly stupefying. My life in the past few years has been unbelievably ever changing and I keep encountering one STORM after another within months of each other; and I can't see how I'm making it?! Only by the GRACE OF GOD, seems. And I have to be honest, some of my issues are do to self infliction, while others are do to family, friends and just life period. Wow, and for the first time in my life I don't really know what to do? Well, I know what to do, but secularly, I don't.
It's almost as if GOD has me sitting still to wait on the positive outcomes on each issue, wait on the blessings coming my way. However while I'm waiting, I'm struggling with my flesh (meaning) like being patient, kind, understanding, quietly observant without trying to do anything that will get me in trouble. Because naturally I want all things solved now, cause I feel disappointed, hurt, disgusted, I feel sad and that I have now been pushed even further behind than I've ever been in my life. But I was looking at "ET" Entertainment Tonight a while back and I was listening to Shaun Robinson and she was discussing a time in her life where everything was going wrong and she was really disappointed and she said her father said to her "A set back, is a set up for a come back" and I said to myself "I like that" and from that day on I believed that.
So, though I'm going through this mess right now and I feel that I am in a set back, I believe that GOD wants me to sit still until he decides to set me up for my come back and who am I to argue with him; so that's what I'm gonna' do.
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