Life at Random

I have made a great many mistakes in my life and most of them to me, weren't really a big deal. They were not mistakes that I sought later to regret, up until my late twenties. At first the mistakes before then were to be looked at as okay; "Quanda you know better next time. Chalk this up to the game because had you'd paid more close attention to your instincts than you'd put yourself in a better position." Usually the mistakes that I made never really included hurting anyone, more so either, hurting me, punishing me or costing me. It was very rare that someone was hurt because of me, something I did. If there were, I either didn't know cause they didn't tell me, I said no to something they wanted me to do that wasn't good for me or there were maybe a little jealousy involved and the only reason why they are hurt is because they tried to prevent me from having what GOD already permitted me to have. Any way, as far as mistakes, that would be the just of...

Amazing how you can be smack dead in the middle of a situation and can truly see how messed up it is. You can see what's messed up about it, how it's messed up and see all the things that are seriously wrong; but out of all of that, you can't see how to fix it. I always find that un-clairvoyantly stupefying. My life in the past few years has been unbelievably ever changing and I keep encountering one STORM after another within months of each other; and I can't see how I'm making it?! Only by the GRACE OF GOD, seems. And I have to be honest, some of my issues are do to self infliction, while others are do to family, friends and just life period. Wow, and for the first time in my life I don't really know what to do? Well, I know what to do, but secularly, I don't. It's almost as if GOD has me sitting still to wait on the positive outcomes on each issue, wait on the blessings coming my way. However while I'm waiting, I'm struggling with my flesh (m...